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Dark Matter-Character Manual

Dark Matter will restart production sometime in September.

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor… I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

-Rorschach

And then, just like that, I found what I was looking for. It did take a talking fox for me to figure it out, but I eventually did figure it out. This joke isn’t really just a joke on Pagliacci, it’s a joke on Supermen–everyone who considers themselves to be pillars of support, or such like.

When normal people fall, they are supported by men stronger than them. In time, these men come to be associated with reliability and support. This is not just a function of their superiority, but also a function of people’s longing and search for messianic beings. Maybe, that was why the concept of God was created in the first place–so that normal people could project their frailties on to Him and beg for support.

But, get it. There is no God. All there are, are people projected to a messianic state. If God were actually there, the world would be much fairer. Everyone’s equal for God, and this is a world created by him. So, why is everyone not equal in this world? Why are there poor people? Why are there social outcasts? Why are there dimwits, who’re ridiculed for being slow? If everything was part of God’s design, then why isn’t the playing field level?

There is just one reason–God might just be a sham. Project Jesus to a mythical status, and you have God. Exaggerate stories about an exiled king fighting a couple of goons to get his wife back, and you have Rama. All Gods were strong humans, but humans nonetheless.
Which actually brings me to the epiphany I had, and therein lies the source of my laughter–strong men actually fall the hardest. When normal people fall, they are supported by strong people who act as pillars of support. But, when these very pillars crumble (because of excessive pressure, say), who breaks their fall? Like the mob said at the very beginning of Watchmen

They watch over us, but who watches over the Watchmen?

Don’t you find it funny, when your very notion of strong, weak and stability just blend into one big pile of nothingness? Just like everything else around you? I find it hilarious. But then, I got the joke (courtesy, of course, the talking fox). And, the joke is on us, my dear friend. Laugh, while you can.

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-Voltaire

Rejoice.

Download the PDF version here.

“Why hello there!”
He spun around. Locked door. Windows locked. And yet, a voice in the dark.
“Who…who are you?”
“The question…well, the question isn’t…or rather, shouldn’t be who are you. It should be how are you? Are you happy? Do you have a smile on your face? Now aren’t they much nicer questions?”
“You’re mad!”
“No seriously, I’m not. I’m just happy.”
“Happy. Huh! What do you know about happiness? I was happy once. Really happy…”
“See, that’s the problem with people like you. Happy now, sad a moment later. See, you guys are temperamental. Me, I am constant. Always happy. Can’t you see the smile on my face?”
“I…I can’t see…it’s too dark…”
“Tchch tchch…my bad! Of course you can’t. Let me enlighten you.”
And he took a step. The gentle moonlight streamed through the window and onto his face, giving it a sickly pallor.
“You…you’ve got…”
“Yeah I do. Don’t you just love what I’ve done with my face? You wanna know how I got this smile?”
He didn’t answer.
“Well I’ll tell you anyway. It’s simple-I hung onto a happy memory. My happiest. Unlike you, of course! And then, I decided to etch it forever into my memory. Or rather, my face…you know what that memory was? It was of my stepfather. Dead. I killed, and I was really happy…!”
He gave him a disgusted look.
“Why so serious? Well, let me guess…you obviously don’t agree with my idea of happiness, now, do you? Well, no problems, you’re entitled to your own opinion…as I’m entitled to my own. You wanna know what I think? I think I need to put a smile on that face of yours. You know, bring some happiness to your sorry existence. Don’t worry, I’m tonight’s entertainment. Oh, and, I think you should try and remember your happiest memory. So, tell me, what makes you happy? What makes you smile?”
“My…my wife, ” he said with a glimmer of a smile. “She left me. Broke my heart….”
“Ho ho. Haha, he ha. Ha ha. Ha. Haha. And I thought my jokes were bad.”
“You, you find this funny?”
“Well, not exactly funny. More ironic, than funny.”
“Ironic?!”
“Well, yeah. Don’t you think it’s kind of ironic that here you are moping about life’s wee sadness when life itself is about to end?”
“What…what do you mean?”
“This.”
And then the man in purple pulled out the revolver and shot him. He died instantly. With a smile on his face. Probably, remembering his wife…

The Rawness of Nadal vs the Elegance of Federer

And then he fell on to the court, winning the final set 9-7. The stands erupted in a wave of applause. Applauding the two for delivering one of the greatest games ever-a four and a half hour magnum opus battling rain, darkness, and of course, each other. But maybe, they were also sub-consciously applauding the end of an era, the accession of an equal, the revelation of the other side of the coin.
This win signals the end of Federer’s dominance. Players like Roddick have, in the past, come close to matching him, but none have dominated him so thoroughly on a particular court, or stormed his backyard so violently, the way Nadal has. And, that is why, tennis lovers the world over are rejoicing.
In the past half-decade or so, tennis had slipped into the same monotony that plagued the Schumi era of F1, or which still plagues cricket. The monotony where the championships were played more as formalities, with everyone knowing who’ll get gold. Where the champions sleep walked through their matches but still drubbed the opposition. In the odd match, these world beater would be challenged, but they would dip into their pool of excellence and conjure another win. The monotony which arose from the lack of symmetry, the lack of a true equal.
Greatness doesn’t lie in trampling minnows-it lies in conquering equals. And, that is why, tennis lovers will remember this match with the same fondness with which cricket pundits remember the Ashes of ‘05. But, unlike that particular Ashes, I don’t think this match is a false start. I think the calm elegance of Federer has finally found its match in the brash, butt-scratching brute force of Nadal. Clubbed with his dominance on clay, this win is a signal that Nadal, the player, has grown, and Nadal, the equal, has emerged. Provided Fed doesn’t hang up his boots any time soon, and Rafa doesn’t break down, this rivalry could be remembered as the Ali-Frazier of tennis, or the Sampras-Agassi of this generation. And for that, tennis should stand up, and applaud the two.

This article first appeared on ankurb.info.

Listen to them
Chatter, gibber,
Twitter, twatter.
Sit in a corner,
Force a smile now and again.
“How your studies goin’ laddie?
Will you grow up
To be just like your daddie?”
(My relatives are over
And this is the only topic
Over which they ever hover.)
Forced smile
And laugh to make it clear.
“Study hard
To be successful, my dear.
Your cousin studies half a day,
Times it too!
Tchch Tchch,
But what about you?
Your marksheet is a blot
On the family name.
You HAVE TO
Improve on the same!
The time has come
Trash your writing
-Twas trash anyway.
Study, study, study,
Study all day!
Look at your daddie,
Don’t you wanna be like him?”
I laugh for real now
-All I want to be is
ME.